My Roommate Wants to Learn the Suona. What Instrument Can I Use to Counter it?

Response from User 1:

The Erhu!

When he plays "Crying at Dawn," you counter with "The Moon Reflected in the Second Spring."

When he hits "Crying to the Heavens," you pull out "Song of Illness."

He plays "Farewell Song," you respond with "Su Wu Tending Sheep."

He goes for "One Flower," you strike back with "Rivers and Streams."

He tries "Buddha Melody," you hit "Miluo River."

He attempts "Hundred Birds Paying Homage to the Phoenix," you answer with "Galloping Horses."

He plays "Happy Occasion," you counter with "Small Drum Dance."

He celebrates "Bridal Chamber," you follow with "Spring Festival Overture."

He goes for "Lift the Sedan Chair," you respond with "A Song of Longing."

He blasts "Festive Suona," you unleash "Dance of the Golden Snake."

And if you're in the mood, you can even play duets with your roommate. Imagine the two of you, blowing and bowing, performing wedding tunes like "Bridal Chamber." Your audience will be overwhelmed with joy and possibly unable to leave their seats.

Feeling melancholic? Perform a somber duet, and your listeners might just find themselves lying in bed, covered with a blanket, overcome with emotion.

Some might say the erhu can't match the suona, but don't worry about it. It’s all about embracing that bittersweet, poignant sadness. Picture this: the two of you, side by side, conquering both joyous and sorrowful occasions.

Response from User 2:

In China, the suona belongs to the metal element in the Five Elements theory. It’s a powerful instrument that spans from birth celebrations to mourning ceremonies, and it takes an entire orchestra to compete with it.

Ming Dynasty General Qi Jiguang once said in his "Record of Military Effectiveness" that the suona has the power to lead soldiers into battle.

Even Wong Fei Hung's strongest theme song, "A Man Should Strengthen Himself," is performed with a suona.

1. Mongolian Horse-Head Fiddle (Morin Khuur)

This instrument doesn’t tolerate feeble tunes. It shreds through pretentious melodies with its own fierce and majestic sound.

Imagine an intense, academy-trained performance with intricate details and a voice that splits the air. The sound is so powerful it feels like "dragon foal milk wine," filling your soul with moonlight and sword aura—a single note can shake Siberia to its core.

2. Scottish Bagpipes

Real men wear skirts without underwear. Picture yourself in a kilt handmade by your mom, showing off a cheeky bit of thigh.

With the Scottish bagpipes, make your roommate feel the icy winds from the Alps. The bagpipe's piercing wail will leave him bewildered, as if his brain is being blasted open by the highland gales, solving long-standing digestive issues and causing involuntary muscle spasms.

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3. Buddhist Temple Bell

The suona’s piercing sound is almost demonic, requiring the divine intervention of a sacred instrument to counter it.

While the suona thrives on intricate and flowery notes, the temple bell resonates with simplicity and profoundness, invoking ancient Chinese literary styles.

The sheer physical impact of the temple bell's sound can overwhelm the suona's defiant tone. Imagine the suona's audacious melody trembling before the resonant echoes of the temple bell.

And if all else fails, you can always place the bell over your roommate while he sleeps, achieving literal "suppression."

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